Low carb diet and PCOS

Women with PCOS are supposed to follow a low carb diet. I confess to cheating quite often, I am quite successful in limiting my carbohydrate intake to only one portion per day. It's not a perfect method, since I don't count carbs in fruits and vegetables, of which I have a minimum of four portions per day (my goal is five to nine). I do count bread, cereal, tortillas, pasta, corn, rice and potatoes. I don't drink sodas nor any sweet beverages, I don't sweeten my tea or coffee and I don't eat desserts. I do indulge in chocolate, but always a reasonable portion.

One of my friends cooked an ethnic dinner for us and asked me if we had any dietary restrictions. So I mentioned that we can eat everything, but that I usually limit my intake of carbohydrates. I also told her that I do cheat on special occassions and that she should not worry too  much about it.

Which makes me wonder if I set myself up. There were four dishes, three of which were carbohydrate rich: potatoes, rice with meat, and dumplings. The only non-carb dish was a salad, of which I had three servings. I did not even taste the bread. I had a little tiny slice of dessert (very sugary!), which seemed foolish, given that I had already had more than my carb allowance for two or three days.

Of course, I did not complain nor lecture her. After all, the food was delicious and you could tell that she had put a lot of effort into this dinner. But it reminded me of how hard it is to eat right. Even at the hospital, where nurses and doctors should know better, I was pumped up (literally) with carbs.

My heart goes out tho those afflicted by diabetes, a terrible disease. My ovarian cysts and the few symptoms I deal with are nothing compared to the risks they run if they do not control their carbs. It must be really difficult for them.

Not a Valentine's gift, but still nice

In the pharmaceutical industry, cleanliness is a big deal. What is taken for "clean" at hospitals is not acceptable in a pharmaceutical manufacturing environment. Even sterile is not good enough. Dead bacteria are definitely not allowed, not even enzymes, nor random pieces of DNA. That's why they use blister packs and tamper evident packaging, to ensure sterility and wholesomeness. They do random quality control tests to make sure all batches adhere to their standards, which of course ensures no contamination.

So why, then, when you get prescription medicine, a random technician counts your pills by hand in a non-sterile environment? Who double-checks if he/she is actually putting the right medication and dose in the bottle? Is he/she wearing sterile gloves, a net and a mask? Who knows?

That was one of the shocks when I first came to the USA. A country where everything is supposed to be regulated for the better was allowing for this unreliable practice. And of course we've all heard of pharmacists giving people the wrong pills or the wrong dose. Human error comes to  play each time a pharmacist prepares a prescription. This defeats the industry's purpose of striving to have proper quality control.

Last time I picked up my antidepressant, I was gladly surprised. It did not come in an orange bottle where a technician had stuck his fingers into, like the two previous months (and like they always do with all my prescriptions). It came in a sealed bottle. Now that's what I call progress.

I really don't care for Valentine's Day, but this was a good gift.

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Yesterday was, overall, a very good day. I finally got my feast of  raw oysters and mercury laden swordfish, washed down by birth defect causing beer. This was my negative HPT celebration, long overdue.

I also brought the yellow dog to the dog park, made great progress socializing her and got great tips from other dog owners about stopping her barking to strangers. I even met an extremely friendly guy who had learned Spanish in Guatemala and wanted some practice.

I later checked out this book from the library, thinking it would help me understand some of the yellow dog's behaviors and deal with them. It's nothing serious, it's just her barking to strangers and some of her rough playing. We've made some progress but I wanted some additional pointers.

After the library, I went with the spouse to a coffee shop and began reading. A few pages into it, I started crying. Later, reading at home, it happened again.

Let me tell you, this is no tear-jerking story, it's just a dog trainer narrating her experiences with service dogs. Some of the anecdotes are very sad and have made me think of my own loss.  Normally I am good at not crying when the spouse is around, but this time I really could not help it.

I feel like a wuss. The stories themselves prove that there are worse losses than mine. I know many bloggers have had multiple losses, while I only had one miscarriage. Why can't I just move on and be grateful for the good things in my life?

I wonder if I ever will be able to read a book or watch a movie without the sad emotions surfacing and taking over me. It's got to stop, but I don't know how.

For now, I think, I am going to read Calvin and Hobbes.

Fun with genetics

According to 23andMe, I have a slightly higher than average risk of bipolar disorder, heart attack and retsless leg syndrome. Other than that, nothing serious. The bipolar part is interesting. Would that explain my bouts of depression? I don't think I've ever been through a manic episode, though. I do know that SSRI's (like Prozac) are not for me.

I already knew that my maternal haplogroup was Asian. Which is not surprising, 85% of us Hispanics have an Asian maternal haplogroup. Still, looking at the rest of my DNA, in addition to South American ancestry, I also have lots of European Blood, along with some African and Asian. I am a carrier of Bloom's syndrome, a very rare disease. One quarter of reported cases are Ashkenazi Jews. Could there be some Jewish DNA in me? Maybe. The important thing is that I am truly mixed!

I feel closer to my dog now. Given that pet insurance is cheaper for mixed breeds versus purebreds, I should consider myself lucky.

Another thing 23andMe told me was that I have the typical odds of developing PCOS, based on one locus, and slightly higher odds of developing PCOS based on a second locus that has also been linked to the condition.

In other words, I paid 200 dollars to be told what I already knew. It is fun though, and I will be spending many hours at their website looking at my DNA quirks.

Teddy Bear

Last Saturday we spent over a hundred dollars in pet supplies. When the old dog died, I gave away all his things to the local shelter. Food, treats, beds, blankets, toys, towels, coats... The only things I kept were the grooming supplies, a hand knitted sweater and that little brown teddy bear, which in the end was the only toy that interested him. He last played with it five months before dying. I left those things in a plastic bag at the bottom of the linen closet. Sometimes, when pulling out cleaning supplies, seeing the teddy bear made me sad.

When the yellow dog arrived, I decided she could have the teddy bear. I don't want it to be stashed away, bringing me sad memories whenever I come across it. I prefer to watch the yellow dog chewing on it. Given how rough she plays, the teddy bear will not last too long. But you know what? It does not matter. If that teddy bear ends his days being destroyed by a doggy, he will have served his original purpose.

Once upon a time..

When I was very little, if someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my standard response was: "I want to be a mom with many kids". I later had more interesting answers, such as marine biologist, geologist or chemical engineer. Maybe I was overcompensating because, as I grew up, my first choice seemed kind of lame.

In the end, I became a biochemist with a so-so career path, sometimes good, sometimes bad, but always interesting, and always some degree of professional satisfaction.

But you know what? After all these years, deep inside, I still want to be a mom with many kids.

What if...?

February is the month where my pregnancy started to go horribly wrong last year. These days, I find myself trying not to remember it all and not think about it anymore, but I can't help it. I sometimes think I should have ignored Dr. Mediocre when he said I could go back to work if I stopped bleeding. I should have quit that stupid job at the first sign of alarm. I should have seen a perinatologist right away.

You can't win this game. It gets worse as I wonder if, before getting pregnant,  I should have seen another doctor who looked deeper into the complications of my bicornuate uterus or PCOS. And then I remember all the doctors I've been through already  and tell myself that I could not have done things differently.

It's very difficult not to hate myself or my body when I remember everything that happened. And so I try very hard not to remember.

Luckily I have a distraction.