Tuesday, August 9, 2011

What not to say

You know the drill. You're introduced to someone and you start asking questions about each other. The inevitable one, after finding out that you're married, is whether or not you have kids.

I used to say that we had a dog instead, but after the old dog died I lost practice. So I reverted to my: "sadly, no". Which usually keeps people from telling me that I should have kids because they are such a wonderful gift from God. Also, they can also tell that this is something I don't like talking about. But I just met a lady who did not  take the hint.

She asked me what church we're going to.  I just told her I don't go to church (not entirely true, I still go sometimes). Her reply? That I should attend St. _____ church. After all, he is a "very powerful saint". We might have kids if we start going.

I did not hit her, though I really wanted to. I only explained what I did not like about St._______, and compared it to another church that I like better.

The worst part? Later, a friend of my commented that this woman had been very nice.

Nice? I believe my perceptions are all distorted.


  1. I had a similar experience this past weekend at a farmer's market talking with a vendor...she asked if I had children and I replied "no", but she already had her comment ready on how great it is to have children that she had to stop mid sentence before she realized that I had said "no" and quickly ended her comment. Obviously she doesn't listen well or just assumes every woman is going to say "yes" to having children. It does make me sad at times that it is an assumption for alot of people, but I also realize they haven't a clue what we have gone thru.

  2. I hear you!! I never ask people that question and I wonder why they ask me. I usually answer and say no, just a husband. Then we laugh and I try to change the subject. People say the strangest things.