Divorce. The spouse dying. Me dying. Having another miscarriage. Bleeding to death during that miscarriage. Having a very ill baby. Not having a baby at all. Death again. Never seeing my family again. Not wanting to see my family just now. Not even wanting to talk to them. Cooking squash for tomorrow's lunch. Not wanting to cook but too guilty not to. Guilt about eating chocolate. Guilt about not giving the yellow dog a bath. Guilt about falling behind with the packing. Divorce again. I have to pay the plumber. I should call the general contractor again. I should get the gas turned on. I should call the power company about the vines on that post. Why bother? I don't even want to live there anymore. I want to stay in this apartment forever, and eat lots of chocolate, and never deal with moving, contractors, or infertility again.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Things I should not think about but I think about anyway
Divorce. The spouse dying. Me dying. Having another miscarriage. Bleeding to death during that miscarriage. Having a very ill baby. Not having a baby at all. Death again. Never seeing my family again. Not wanting to see my family just now. Not even wanting to talk to them. Cooking squash for tomorrow's lunch. Not wanting to cook but too guilty not to. Guilt about eating chocolate. Guilt about not giving the yellow dog a bath. Guilt about falling behind with the packing. Divorce again. I have to pay the plumber. I should call the general contractor again. I should get the gas turned on. I should call the power company about the vines on that post. Why bother? I don't even want to live there anymore. I want to stay in this apartment forever, and eat lots of chocolate, and never deal with moving, contractors, or infertility again.
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That's a lot to be going on in that head of yours! But I've been there, take a deep breath and try to relax!
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