That phrase, in a nutshell, sums up what people mean, no matter what idiocy comes out of their mouth (God knows best, just relax, those treatments work miracles, you're still young, just adopt, etc).
I do not usually make a list on New Year because they tend to lead towards disappointment in myself. Why pile it up? But here's a good thing to try out: Each time I hear another person condescendingly throw one of those idiocies at me, I'll do my best to thank them, and repeat the above phrase in my head, because, ignorance or disinterest notwithstanding, that's probably what they're trying to say anyway.
I think the phrase "it's God's will" in relation to a miscarriage was one of the most angering things I heard, but like you say the intention is normally good. People just want to try and say something so they end up saying something stupid, I have probably said stupid things before too. I now stick to I'm so sorry, because I know nothing I say can make it better, only worse.
ReplyDeletegreat suggestion, I think people do mean well but so so misguided
ReplyDeleteI think people mean so well, but just have no idea what their words sound like to us.
ReplyDeleteyou are right on!! and what a great positive attitude you have :) (you are a better person than me I would be giving them the finger as they walked away, lol , just kidding )
ReplyDeleteHow perfect. You're right - even when they're hurting us, we know they're (usually) trying to help.
ReplyDeleteI do feel though that people won't know what to say, unless we help them. Struggling with the balance though - when to tell them, when just to smile thanks - is the tough bit.