I never talked about it. In fact, the only other person that knows is the spouse, and I think he seriously doubts it really happened. Me too, because it was kind of surreal, and that it happened when we were not even trying to get pregnant. I'd been off the pill though, with my period more or less coming once in a while but without me really tracking it. And then it did not come for almost two months, and when it came, it came with a vengeance, that is, with heavy bleeding, some weird membranes and some cramps.
I was numb. I examined the membranes without really wanting to, and then I threw everything in the toilet and decided to go back on the pill. I tried very hard to forget it and not talk about it.
Still, today, with a friend, I talked about my three miscarriages, not my two miscarriages... so I guess deep down I am really counting the incident as a third miscarriage. But does it really count? I guess I will never know. It cannot be good, when something like this happens and you just brush it off and ignore it for months.
I am so sorry to hear this. All that matters is what is in your heart. Even if your mind and heart doesn't always agree. When heartbreak happens sometimes this is a way to cope...be gentle with yourself. Big hugs.
ReplyDelete***gentle hugs****** Sometimes your mind protects you from trauma; the heartbreak is easier to handle in a sense when emotions are detached. For you to acknowledge that it was a miscarriage, is a step to healing yousrelf. you have right to grief and time to yourself- Cry and we'll cry with you.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Concur wholeheartedly with J and Wolfers.
ReplyDeleteA gentle hug to you, my friend.
Does it count? Yes, it counts if you count it. Therefore it counts a great deal. Sending hugs.
ReplyDelete