Sunday, January 15, 2012

I'm the lucky one

Due to a big eczema flare on my hands, I have not worn my wedding band much. Sometimes I wear it on my right hand, which for some reason fares better.

And so the other two women in my team had not noticed that I was married. This also shows how little we talk to each other. Isn't it sad? In our defense, in the old building we barely saw each other. Now that the whole team is in the same area we communicate much more.

When I told them I had been married for nine years they congratulated me and told me I was very lucky to have found love and to still be together after so many years.  Neither of them mentioned kids. Both of them are single, probably not by choice. Perhaps for them finding love is already a huge gift.

The truth is, our marriage has gone through some major earthquakes, but somehow we've always managed to patch up the cracks and keep going. I do love my husband. I hate that he does not want to adopt or foster kids in need. I hate that he still wants me to go through yet another cycle. I hate that he never brings up the topic, it has to be me.

But you know what? There is nothing else to hate. Not even to dislike. And frankly, that is a very short list. The stupid things that used to bother me years ago, now make me laugh. There is, in contrast, too much to love, and too much to be grateful for.

I am lucky indeed.


  1. I hate the strain that IF puts on a relationship- so not fair

  2. I love this post. One of the main reasons we didn't look at adoption was that my husband didn't like the idea. So I can relate. I'm glad you are so lucky.