Tuesday, January 10, 2012

A phrase to ponder

"People who have information about an individual case rarely feel the need to know the statistics of the class to which the case belongs".  ~Daniel Kahneman

And so I get to hear about so-and-so who gave up on trying to get pregnant, but got pregnant anyway later on. I am very tired of this story. This has happened to many infertile couples, but I am pretty sure that there's plenty of couples who never made it. It's just that nobody talks about them.

Too bad that just a few days ago I promised not to get mad at people who blab some nonsense trying to make me feel better. How does someone else's unintended success is supposed to make me feel better about my own failure after six years of trying?

Oh, right. I am not supposed to lose hope. Yeah, got it.

But you know what? Maybe it's time to move on and hope for something different.


  1. Ugggg another one??? It's like the famous, 'just adopt, my friends, cousins, sisters, mother did and then got pegnant'! What they don't know if that person only tried for 1 year and really were just doing it on the wrong days!

  2. They keep coming my way. Sometimes I'm really sorry about "coming out of the closet" regarding infertility. Now everyone has an opinion, a suggestion, or a clichéed story to tell.

  3. I could have written that post. To me, IF is so diverse that saying that shit to you is like telling someone with breast cancer that they will be ok b/c you know someone with thyroid cancer who is remission. Apples and oranges.
    I am with you hoping for something different- now to figure out what that exactly is....

  4. I hadn't seen that quote on statistics, but it is exactly right. Besides, the reason people have such stories - "so-and-so got pregnant after giving up/at 47/etc" - are because they are notable. There are far more who didn't get pregnant, went on with their lives, and didn't make a big impression.