We used to talk about them all the time. They squeezed themselves into our conversations constantly. Will I still be working when we have kids? Will we buy a house in a good school district? If we don't, will we send them to a private school? Will we teach them Spanish or English, or both?
Slowly we moved on to the next verb tense, as we felt less confident. Would we let them spend time with their grandparents? Would we teach them to read at an early age? Would we let them watch TV? Would we be good parents? Would they be healthy?
Now the hypothetical kids seldom appear. I caught myself evaluating a house with no consideration to them. Worse, when the spouse asked if that particular house seemed large enough, my reply was: "It's large enough for the two of us".
And then I held my breath. Where were the hypothetical kids? Am I giving up on them or just giving up talking about them?
We had this convo last night...if it doesn't work, could we be a childless couple. Quickly I relied NO!! C, slowly replied, maybe?
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurts for you...