Sunday, May 22, 2011

The childless four

T is not pregnant. This was her last attempt at IVF. She kept very quiet about it and only after a second email told me the result, stating that she will be incommunicado for a while. And I gave her a brief reply saying that I love her and know very well that there's nothing I can say to make her feel better, sent her my hugs and said I was sorry.

And I truly am. We have two other friends, also from college, who are also childless. D got  pregnant a year ago, and then miscarried at 12 weeks. She had to undergo a D&C. And then there's O. She's never been married, though she's been with her boyfriend for the past 17 years. They have never moved together and they do not want to start a family. But O confessed to me that she sometimes yearned for children. Here's the four of us, at one of the weddings.

I know I don't have the right to blog about other people's lives. And yet, these three friends, and a few others, feel like family to me. At some point, we were all roommates. Little by little, our periods became synchronized. Pheromones, maybe? Coincidence? Who knows?

I do know that it is a tragedy that none of us is a mother. In this case, I know there is no biological connection. It's just coincidence. A very unlucky one.


  1. so sorry :( I am glad you have great friends who understand how hard this all is.

  2. That is so sad. I am glad though you have friends IRL that you can relate to. I am surrounded only by those with kids and it hurts so much.