Saturday, June 25, 2011

Not Pregnant

Oh well. I think I took it rather well. I cried a little, then went to work as usual. I might have indulged in too much chocolate and cheese. No alcohol whatsoever, which is surprising because I was planning on at least one glass of wine that evening, but in the end went for more chocolate instead. Today I had my period.

I do feel as if the world were against me. I am easily irritated or offended. I have to think things twice at all times before reacting or replying in every situation, because deep down I know it's just the depression coloring my perceptions. I am proud of myself for being able to notice it. Still, it takes a constant effort not to blow up.

I should have called Dr. Careful to make a baseline appointment and order more drugs, but I didn't. I can't just move ahead without digesting this failure first. The idea of wasting another month does not bother me. In contrast, the idea of starting another round of injections does.

I wish I had seen Dr. Funny after the test. I will  see him in two weeks, but I am thinking of calling him and letting him know what happened.

6 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry, my dear. Thinking of you.

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  2. I'm sorry Pearl, I'm thinking of you.

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  3. I am so so sorry. Big hugs, sweetie.

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  4. I'm really sorry. Chocolate in lieu of alcohol sounds to me like a perfectly logical step. Sending best wishes and hugs.

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  5. I'm really sorry to read your news. I know how you feel. You are not alone. It just plain old sucks! I've been at this a long time and sometimes it seems to get easier, but then other times the pain is just so strong. I am wishing you peace and happiness...someday hopefully soon!!!

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