For the past two days, it's been hard for me to keep tears back. It's not that I've been watching soap operas or reading tear-jerkers. It's just that February is coming to an end, and just about everything around me reminds me of all he horrible events of last year. The spouse has missed most of my crying moments, but yesterday he was with me when it happened.
I hate that. He tries really hard to cheer me up, but it never works. It only makes me feel that, for some reason, I am the only one grieving for our loss. Either he was never as attached to our baby as I was, or he just got over it quicker.
He sometimes says something about missing the old dog and I get really mad. Yes, I too miss the old dog. But I miss my baby even more, and it hurts that he mourns the dog but not the baby.
This only makes me hate the old dog even more for his bad timing. His death will be forever associated to the miscarriage.