Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Here we go again

T is back in touch with me. One of her embryos did not make it. They did transfer the other one. All she can do for now is rest and hope, and I am trying my best to be supportive.

Meanwhile I decided to do a HPT. I know, at this point it's a waste of money. But I am at day 37. It's time for me to call Dr. Mediocre, and the first thing his nurse will ask is: "Have you done a HPT?"

Calling Dr. Mediocre is yet another thing I'd like to put off. Normally when I take progesterone I do get my period a few days after the last pill. The only time it did not work was ten years ago, when my cousin was about to get married. I remember that my mother and I had an argument because I was planning to wear the same dress I wore for my sister's wedding. I was trying to get out of debt and saw no reason for the expense of a new dress.

A few weeks before the wedding I had another skipped period. All my PCOS symptoms were flaring up: bloating, acne, growing a moustache... you name it. I was given progesterone, and a week after stopping I still did not get my period.  So they injected me a megadose of progesterone.

Wow. I've never been so bloated in my life. Not a single item of clothing fit me. My mother had to dig up her "fat clothes" from the eighties to keep me decent enough to go to work. I ended up going to my cousin's wedding in an electric blue dress decorated with metal studs. I had a miserable time, feeling ugly and uncomfortable. Even my feet were swollen. In the end, both my mother and I were glad that I had not wasted my money on a new dress.

If it happens again, and they give me one of those injections, I don't have my mother's clothes from the eighties. I've no idea what I could wear, since not even the spouse's clothes will serve, he's a skinny guy.  Clothing issues aside, I don't want to get that bloated again. Looking like a pregnant lady when you actually can't get pregnant is the ultimate insult.

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